Dear Anxiety

Anxiety.

Anxiety why must you enter my thoughts and become an overwhelming nagging voice in my head? Welp the one of many voices in my exhausted brain.

All you cause you vicious villain is a life full of uncertainty. A life of regret. Denial. Guilt. Shame. And most importantly the lack of trust.

Trust in myself, trust in others, and others trusting me.

Why must you dear anxiety cause so much heartache before the situations even occur? Your voice circles my brain, constantly and forcefully screaming nonsense at me. “They’re mad at you. They don’t like you. Why are they starring at me?”

Anxiety, why must you forget that others have lives? Others have WAY more important occurrences happening in their lives than to worry about you dear anxiety.

Why do you always need to be so selfish?

Not only are you selfish sweetheart, you’re beyond untrustworthy, but yet you seem to be my kryptonite. I follow your lead every damn time. Why must you be so rude to me? You’re the pure definition of a narcissist.

So does that make me a narcissistic woman? Because dear anxiety I wish to be none of those awful descriptions.

All I want is for us to be friends dear anxiety.

No matter how many times I wish you to leave, I’ve come to the conclusion you will always be apart of me.

You’re not the only voice that lives in my brain.

There is Tim.

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There is my younger me.

And there is grief.

You dear anxiety, have trained your minions quite well. Their games of tag your it are quite challenging to overcome at times.

If we learned, my dear anxiety, how to live in my thoughts positively, our universes would be so different.

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