Holidays why must you be so rude?

Holidays. Holidays why must you haunt my every thought and emotion? The good, the bad, and of course the ugly. But why must every joyful emotion come with instant panic? Instant fear of my surroundings. While I scream so desperately for my lovely voice, Her, to just shut the fuck up so my anxiety doesn’t…

Final Hard Truth After Speaking/Reporting Abuser

“I, I just don’t have anything to wear.” I yelled at my very confused boyfriend, who was trying his best to “help” the situation, but my irrational and racing thoughts clouded all my judgment. Her, my best friend you might say, is a nagging voice, that sounds identical to me, who is constantly whispering in…

The Third Hard Truth After Speaking/Reporting Abuser

I see the fear in those that I love. All wide-eyed and walking on eggshells as if their next breathe I was going to explode with toxic emotion. I have a certain pattern to my behavior. I always enter a depressive yet manic impulsive state when every holiday appears. And my Mom’s birthday is slowly…